We live in a world obsessed with the idea of finding your one true purpose. You know the story: you’re supposed to discover that one big calling — the singular passion that defines you now and forever.
It’s everywhere — in self-help books, social media quotes, graduation speeches. “Find your passion.” “Live your calling.” “Do what you were born to do.”
But today, I want to challenge that myth.
What if we’re not meant to have just one calling?
What if the belief in a singular purpose is actually preventing us from embracing all the beautiful, messy, evolving parts of ourselves?
Let’s talk about a more expansive — and natural — way to think about purpose. For a deeper dive, you can listen to the latest episode of Mental Health Bites here on substack or Apple Podcasts. You can also look for more short videos and insights at my YouTube channel.
Where Did the “One True Purpose” Myth Come From?
Modern Western culture tells us that happiness and success depend on identifying a single, unwavering life purpose — one that stays static across your lifespan. The rise of individualism and hustle culture only intensified this narrative: that you must discover and relentlessly pursue your “calling” or risk falling behind.
But historically, purpose wasn’t framed that way.
In most cultures, people took on many roles across their lifetime — hunter, gatherer, caregiver, healer, teacher. Identity was shaped by community and necessity, not a single internalized mission.
Your sense of purpose evolved depending on your season of life, your environment, and your relationships. It was fluid — not fixed.
The Psychological Cost of the “One True Purpose” Myth
While the idea of having a calling can be inspiring for some, for many it becomes a source of pressure, shame, and paralysis.
People who strongly believe in a singular life purpose often experience higher distress when they can’t identify it. They may feel anxious, stuck, or like they’re falling behind everyone else.
Psychologists have even coined the term “purpose anxiety” — the stress, shame, and indecision people feel when they believe they’re supposed to have one true purpose... and haven’t found it.
This mindset can narrow your vision and discourage you from trying new things. You may avoid exploring your interests because they don’t feel “big enough” or “on track.” You might fear wasting time, making the wrong choice, or not looking committed enough.
But here’s the truth: experimentation is one of the best ways to grow. And you don’t have to choose just one thing to be successful.
The Power of Being a Multipotentialite
There’s a term for people who thrive by following multiple interests and evolving callings: multipotentialite.
Popularized by writer Emilie Wapnick, a multipotentialite is someone who has many passions, creative pursuits, and areas of curiosity over their lifetime.
Instead of focusing on a single “purpose,” multipotentialites weave their experiences together to create something entirely unique.
They don’t follow a straight line — they build a tapestry.
Let’s look at a few real-life examples:
Oprah Winfrey started as a local news anchor, then became a talk show host, producer, actress, author, and philanthropist.
Donald Glover (Childish Gambino) is an actor, writer, musician, comedian, and director.
Maya Angelou was a poet, singer, dancer, professor, civil rights activist, and memoirist.
Even Steve Jobs, who dropped out of college and took a calligraphy class for fun, ended up using that exact inspiration to revolutionize design at Apple.
None of these individuals had just one purpose. They evolved, experimented, and created extraordinary impact by following their curiosity — not a predetermined path.
Purpose Isn’t a Star — It’s the Whole Sky
Purpose doesn’t need to be rigid or all-consuming.
It can be a series of meaningful callings, each building on the last.
Your purpose is not a single star — it’s the entire night sky.
Instead of asking “What’s my one purpose?”, try asking:
✨ What excites me right now?
✨ What lights me up?
✨ What’s one small step I can take toward that interest today?
These questions help you connect with your evolving sense of meaning — and bring your purpose constellation into view.
The Purpose Constellation Exercise
This is one of my favorite tools to help people reconnect with their passions — especially if they’ve been feeling stuck or uncertain.
It’s called the Purpose Constellation Exercise, and it helps you visualize how your multiple interests, strengths, and experiences are connected.
Here’s how to do it:
1. List Your Passions.
Write down all the activities, projects, and interests that make you feel alive. Nothing is too small, weird, or “off track.”
2. Say Why Each Passion Matters.
Next to each one, write down why it matters to you. Does it fulfill a need for creativity? Connection? Freedom? Problem-solving? Service?
3. Put Yourself at the Center.
Draw a large circle labeled “Me” in the center of a blank page. Place your passions around it like stars.
4. Identify Connections.
Draw lines between passions that fulfill similar “whys.” Do multiple interests connect to helping others? Building things? Creating beauty?
5. Reflect on What You See.
You’ll start to notice patterns. Are there passions you’ve been neglecting? Interests that intersect in surprising ways? Are there themes — like storytelling, leadership, curiosity — that pop up again and again?
This is your constellation.
It’s uniquely yours.
And it evolves as you do.
Admire the Starry Night Within You
When you release yourself from the pressure to “be one thing,” you give yourself permission to become fully you.
You’re not meant to be one fixed identity — you’re meant to grow, change, explore, pivot, and begin again.
You can be many things over a lifetime.
You can build something meaningful from every chapter.
And you’re allowed to do so joyfully.
I’d love to hear what’s in your constellation.
What passions and interests light up your sky?
Leave a comment or reply to this email — I read every one.
And if you found this helpful, share it with someone who might be feeling stuck or pressured to find “the one thing.” Let’s normalize curiosity, reinvention, and multidimensional lives.
And one last thing: I also have a paid subscriber option where you can get even more resources, access to private Q&As, and access to my entire back catalogue of techniques and tools.
Order The New Rules of Attachment here: https://bit.ly/3MvuvvF
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About me:
Dr. Judy Ho, Ph. D., ABPP, ABPdN is a triple board certified and licensed Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, a tenured Associate Professor at Pepperdine University, television and podcast host, and author of Stop Self-Sabotage. An avid researcher and a two-time recipient of the National Institute of Mental Health Services Research Award, Dr. Judy maintains a private practice where she specializes in comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations and expert witness work. She is often called on by the media as an expert psychologist and is also a sought after public speaker for universities, businesses, and organizations.
Dr. Judy received her bachelor's degrees in Psychology and Business Administration from UC Berkeley, and her masters and doctorate from SDSU/UCSD Joint Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology. She completed a National Institute of Mental Health sponsored fellowship at UCLA's Semel Institute.
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