Living with values is a practice of identifying what matters to you, what you stand for, and the values you have in your life.
When you know what matters to you, making decisions that take you closer to your priorities, and doing what aligns with your values, even when you’re in the middle of a difficult time, becomes the most sensible and practical thing to do.
Values-based living gives you a sense of empowerment and sense of control over your life and will help to direct your actions toward meaningful purpose.
The Difference Between Values and Goals
I love talking to people about the difference between values and goals and why both are necessary for a well-lived life. Unlike goals, values can’t be checked off a list.
Values are at the heart of what gives meaning and purpose to our lives. They are not ethics or morals per se, rather, they are ideals that you wish to embody and to live your life by, and what you hope your life will be filled with.
For example, humor, caring, learning, or independence represent what you might like others to say about you when you’re not in the room and how you want to be remembered when you leave this world. They are the things that bring you a deep sense of fulfillment and joy, and things that you’d fight to keep in your life at nearly any cost.
You choose your values.
It’s perfectly normal to find that your choices, or the meaning you ascribe to them shifts at various points in life. Values are unique to every person. If two people chose the same value word to describe one of their top values (for example, integrity), each person will enact this value differently by their language and actions.
An Alignment of Values
When we align with our values on a daily basis, we have more energy, feel more fulfilled, and have more motivation and willpower to achieve our goals because we are acting based on what’s important to us. Clarity about your values and recommitting to living your values—every day— gives you a guide for action and how you will behave during challenging times as well as provides comfort and consistency.
How to Live in Line with Your Values
So, how do we live more in line with our values?
This simple workout takes only a few minutes and is an easy one to add into your evening routine.
Start by naming your top three values. Examples of values include respect, authenticity, caring, health, adventure, curiosity, or knowledge. If these don’t resonate with you or if you feel stuck and want to review a longer list, try my fun, hands-on values card sort activity from my first book, Stop Self-Sabotage.
For each value you choose, ask yourself: “How did I live out, embody, or move in concert with this value today?”
For any of the values that you feel you did not connect with today, recommit to a values-based action for that value within the next twenty- four hours. For example, if one of your top values is community, you can make a note to call a friend to catch up tomorrow or research a new recreational class in your neighborhood to meet some like-minded people.
The key to values-based actions is that they don’t have to be all encompassing or represent the “best” or grandest way to live this value. It’s about doing something that allows you to connect with that value, and keep it top of mind, even during your busy days.
I encourage you to give this a try and experience how it will positively impact your life.
Here’s to your happiness,
Dr. Judy Ho
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About me:
Dr. Judy Ho, Ph. D., ABPP, ABPdN is a triple board certified and licensed Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, a tenured Associate Professor at Pepperdine University, television and podcast host, and author of Stop Self-Sabotage. An avid researcher and a two-time recipient of the National Institute of Mental Health Services Research Award, Dr. Judy maintains a private practice where she specializes in comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations and expert witness work. She is often called on by the media as an expert psychologist and is also a sought after public speaker for universities, businesses, and organizations.
Dr. Judy received her bachelor's degrees in Psychology and Business Administration from UC Berkeley, and her masters and doctorate from SDSU/UCSD Joint Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology. She completed a National Institute of Mental Health sponsored fellowship at UCLA's Semel Institute.